Some Thoughts on a Long Engagement

The length of an engagement is a very interesting concept to me.  It varies so much by couple, and it's such an individual choice.  We talked about our wedding date (well, roughly...more like our wedding season) before we even got engaged.  Once I had Spring of 2011 stuck in my head, it didn't matter when we got engaged.  I have a friend who had similar thoughts, though her thinking landed her with a very different engagement length.  She and her now-fiance planned to get married in August of 2010.  They made this decision well before August, but when the proposal didn't come until April, they ended up with only a 4-month engagement.

Now, I would not have been able to handle a 4-month engagement.  She, on the other hand, can't imagine having an engagement as long as ours.  Having a long engagement has had several advantages for us.  First of all, we're on a pretty tight budget.  The fact that we've had plenty of time to shop around and find the best deals has definitely been helpful.  Also, it's allowed us to focus more on everything else that's going on in our lives right now (not much really, just graduating, taking the bar/boards, and starting our careers).  We still have plenty of time for wedding planning, without forcing everything else to be put on the back burner.

I have noticed, though, that an engagement longer than a year seems to invite a lot of comments from the peanut gallery.  I've heard all sorts of advice and suggestions regarding our engagement length and frankly, I just don't see why it's such a source of criticism.  The comment that caught me the most by surprise was, "Aren't you afraid people will forget about it by then?" Maybe it's just me, but I'm not so selfish that I need people to be CONSTANTLY thinking about our wedding up until the big day.  No, they're not going to forget about it; it just won't be on their mind the entire time, which I think is perfectly appropriate.  Conversely, I'm sure my friend with the 4-month engagement hears her own fair share of criticism.  You can't please everyone.  The sooner we brides accept that, the sooner our planning process becomes much easier.

The best part of a 20-month engagement?  The pre-anniversary.  Hey, I'll take any excuse for a celebration.  Give me a reason and I'll make a holiday out of it!  April 2, 2010 was an absolutely gorgeous day in Atlanta.  If that day is half as beautiful in 2011 as it was in 2010, I'll be thrilled.  We took Lion Corgi for an extra long walk as we gazed upon just-budding trees and smelled the new spring air.  We made a delicious dinner, followed by a big night in featuring some Netflix and some baking:

Personal photo: CUPCAKES!

We talked about how much we were looking forward to our wedding day, and we joked (in our usual corny manner) about, "Hey what are you doing this time next year?  Wanna meet for lunch with some friends?"

Engagement length is a personal decision, and I think everyone chooses what works for them.  For us, dragging out something this fun seemed like a good choice.  How about you?

The Shoes That Almost Weren't

I had so many ideas of what to give my bridesmaids as a thank you for being there for me on the big day.  Then, I had a thought.  Maybe the greatest gift of all wouldn't be necessarily the most unique, most beautiful, most thoughtful gift.  Maybe the greatest gift would be not having to spend so much money.  Being a bridesmaid is expensive!  Not to mention the fact that ALL SIX of my bridesmaids are still in school.  I hinted about this thought to Sister Lioness and Bmaid Emily, both of whom agreed that they would rather have me cover some of their expenses, even if it meant missing out on this:

 Source: Fine & Fleurie

So, I decided to cover their shoes.  Yes, yes, I know, we hadn't yet picked out the bridesmaids dresses.  I knew the bridesmaids dresses would be solid green, so I knew these would match when I found them.  I picked out a lovely pair of D'Orsay peep toes from David's Bridal and gave my girls their first official bmaid task: try them on.  Seemed simple enough, right?  Every town has it's own David's Bridal, and they don't even need to worry about paying for them.  Just try them on, call me with your size, no big whoop.  I mean, I'd be pretty eager to get these babies on my feet anyway.

 Source: David's Bridal

Unfortunately, it was the end of the spring semester and everyone was super busy.  And it was no piece of cake to try to rally 6 girls in 5 cities in 3 states to get this done.  After a few months, I finally got everyone's sizes.  I was really glad I had them try on the actual shoes because they ended up running quite large.  Adjusted sizes in hand, I called the Atlanta David's Bridal one morning to order all six pairs of shoes.  Well, they informed me that they have been DISCONTINUED and therefore I could NOT order them from their warehouse/shipment center/mothership.

I asked them to look through what they had in their store, and they told me they had ONE size 7, and everything else was bigger.  "Hmm, it's like everyone's snatched up the smaller sizes!" the saleswoman observed.  "Like, these must, like, run large or something!"  Duh, that's why I asked everyone to try them on!  She said she could search through the inventory of every David's Bridal in the country and "call me back" (oh yeah, that definitely goes in quotes).  This sounded like a long task, so I wasn't expecting to hear from her until tomorrow.  I started to look at back up options on dsw.com just in case.

I called Sister Lioness, who lived in Gainesville at the time, to tell her that my brainchild of pairing these gorgeous shoes with lovely green dresses might not come to fruition.  Sister Lioness was already out and about, and offered to visit the Gainesville David's Bridal and see what they had in stock.  She discovered two size 7s and a size 6.5.  We now had 2/3 of the shoes that we needed.  I wasn't sure whether to go ahead and get them or not...what if I did and then I couldn't find the other 3 pairs?  So I called Atlanta back to ask them if they had ANY 5.5s.  A different saleswoman answered my question with, "nope...there are only 2 pairs left in the country: one in Des Moins, Iowa and one in Norfolk, Virginia."  I asked her how she knew that so quickly, and she responded, "I just looked it up on our system."  I decided to give up on the incompetent saleswoman with whom I spoke earlier and I asked for the phone numbers for these two stores.  Norfolk did, in fact, have a size 5.5 and (upon further research) Tampa had a size 6!  Luckily, I was going to Tampa that weekend for a friend's bridal shower.  I picked up the one pair in Atlanta, I had Norfolk to ship the 5.5 to me, and Sister Lioness picked up the three in Gainesville.

I have to say I was quite impressed with David's Bridal's sense of urgency.  These shoes had been discontinued, and they helped me search all over the country to make sure I got what I wanted.  And they were efficient, too!

So there you have it: the saga of the shoes that almost weren't.  Sometimes things have a way of working themselves out...especially when you have an amazing MOH to help you with the dirty work!  Have you had to jump through any hoops throughout your planning process?