Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Reconsidering Recycling

Before Mr. Lion and I were even close to engaged, I asked Mama Lioness if I could try on her wedding dress...just for fun.  It had been sitting in her closet since 1982.  It had not been properly preserved, so it had an slightly yellow tint to it, but that just made the lace look all the more antique.  The long sleeves and scalloped neckline could have created a stunning vintage look on a more daring bride, but I decided it wasn't my style.  Plus, I couldn't even zip into it!  I'm a big 4 or a small 6...apparently my mom was even smaller!

Mama Lioness wasn't offended.  She had just saved it as an option.  No pressure, no worries.  She offered it to Sister Lioness, who declined as well.  Mama Lioness promptly took it to her nearest thrift store, and we haven't heard from her dress since.

It was back then that I decided against saving my wedding dress.

It seemed like an awful lot of work to preserve my wedding dress and to have it take up space in my closet, only to have it rejected decades later by my future daughter.  What if she wants to wear a sundress?  What if she doesn't want to get married?  What if I have boys?!  I had made up my mind; I would sell my wedding dress immediately after the wedding.  That money could go towards a house, and therefore go towards starting our lives together.  It was the logical, practical, thing to do.  I felt no remorse.

After our wedding, I posted my dress all over the internet with a reasonable asking price.  I was ecstatic when I received an offer for over half of what I had paid.  It seemed like a great deal for a used gown, and this bride sounded lovely.  I was happy to know that my dress was going to a good home, and happy that I was one step closer to buying my first home.

Then, something strange happened.  When I reached into my closet to inspect the dress before shipping it out, I felt a little lump in my throat.  As I lifted each layer of soft ivory lace to make sure they were without rips or tears, I grew nostalgic.


It was so unlike me to have this much attachment to a material thing.  My wedding dress wasn't even my favorite part of the wedding!  If I had to pick a favorite wedding thing, it probably would have been that window...and it blew over and shattered immediately after the ceremony!  I didn't really experience post-wedding blues (I was just too relieved it was over!)...perhaps this was how it was manifesting?  Maybe I was bummed because it really was over?

It was too late for debate, however, as I had already accepted payment from this other bride.  I had made this decision years ago, and now was the time to remember the reasons why I had made that decision.  I had to stick with my choice.  I had Mr. Lion come with me to the UPS Store to ship the dress, and I had tears in my eyes the whole way there.

Once I had dropped it off, I quit wallowing.  I felt like my dress was being reincarnated, and I rejoiced in the fact that it would fulfill its destiny with another bride.  It probably made her as happy as it had made me.  After all, just because you feel like throwing something away, that doesn't mean it's not exactly what someone else is looking for.


What about you?  Do you plan to sell/donate your dress or preserve it?  If you did sell or donate it, were you surprised at the level of emotion you felt towards it?

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Before the Mane Event: BBC Part 2

As I mentioned earlier, Sister Lioness coined the phrase "BBC" (a polite name for some people...better cry) to describe her goals for her rehearsal dinner slideshow.  What she meant by this was that she really wanted her slideshow to tug at our guests' heartstrings.  She spent months collecting baby pictures from parents, deciding on music, and playing on iMovie.  When we saw the final result, there wasn't a dry eye in the room.

Fortunately, Sister Lioness decided to post this slideshow on YouTube...so you get to watch it too!  As long as you promise not to laugh at how nerdy I was as a kid.  Promise?  Well, okay...


Do you think you'll incorporate some kind of multimedia into your rehearsal dinner?

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Before the Mane Event: BBC

In the final weeks leading up to our wedding, Sister Lioness was busy putting the finishing touches on a slideshow that she had prepared to show during our rehearsal dinner.  Every text, every post, every tweet that I received from her during this time had one phrase repeating throughout: BBC.  Or, in the tweets, it was #BBC.  Yep, she tried to get it to trend.  What does "BBC" stand for?  Well, it refers to our wedding guests and what she hoped they would do.  She hoped that they would be so overcome with joy and emotion that they would cry.  The conversation went something like this:

Lioness: Is the slideshow sappy?
Sister Lioness: Heck yes it is!  They'd better cry. [Insert very tactful pet name for our collective rehearsal dinner guests] better cry!

Thus, BBC was born.  Alas, I was just as guilty of helping it to stick.

The first BBC moment at our rehearsal dinner occurred during Papa Lioness' toast.  He is a good speaker.  He does it for a living.  He's always had a way with words, and on top of that, he's a total sap.  After our guests finished eating, he stepped in front of our projection screen (more on that later...it's basically just our photobooth backdrop with a sheet over it) and asked for the floor.

What's that?  You'd like to hear the speech?  Well, fortunately, Papa Lioness emailed it over to me shortly after the wedding.  Enjoy!

It’s customary at these occasions for people to tell tales about one or the other of the happy couple, to ensure that each knows all they need to in order to take that next step in their relationship.  I will not be an exception.  While I cannot relate anything about David – he has been quite effective in not sharing any of his deep, dark secrets – I can tell volumes about Julia.
As parents, we are fascinated by our children, especially as we watch their personalities develop.  When Julia was about 1 ½, I recall watching her, feeling great pride as she did something, which would cause me to say “that’s me”, only to recoil in horror, as I realized, omg, that’s ME, and, if there was one thing I could change about my personality, that would be it.
Let me give you an example.  In Julia’s world – and mine – there is only one way to do something: the right way, which just happens to be her way.  Any other way of doing such a task is simply wrong.  Further, those who do things wrong are not just mistaken, often, they are of inferior, well, we’ll just leave it at that.  Have any of you observed Julia behind the wheel of a car?  Did she comment upon the behavior of other drivers, that was, of course, wrong?  Errant?  Perhaps even stupid?  Did she indicate her displeasure with any words or specific gestures?  If so, it’s not really her fault; it’s all me.
When she was an infant, we lived in suburban Washington DC.  While we had little money, we did have cable.  I was determined to make her into a fan of my teams.  Whenever the Orioles played, and their hero would come to the plate, I would bounce her on my knee, chanting “Eddie, Eddie”.  While she smiled, there was no recognition.  During college football, I taught her the words to the fight song of my beloved Oklahoma Sooners, both of them.  Nothing.  When college basketball rolled around, I explained what a Hoya was, what Hoya Saxa meant, so she could grow up to annoy all her friends, armed with this impressive knowledge.  Still nothing. 
Imagine my surprise when, years later, she goes off to college to become this rabid Florida Gator fan.  It was never just We Are the Boys; nope, it was pure good  versus pure evil.  Florida State?  At least they have a circus.  Georgia?  Ach, their coeds wear jean shorts with their pearls.  But, the greatest of all were her sainted Red Sox and, you guessed it, the devil itself, those New York Yankees. 
A few years later, I got the call that every daughter’s father dreads.  “Hi Dad; I have a new boyfriend, but you’re not going to like him”.  Realizing that I have no more than four seconds to come up with a respectful response, here’s what went through my mind: oh my god, he’s got ink from head to toe.  Or, maybe piercings all over, even in places that I don’t want to think about.  Or, his pants are so far down his backside that he’s exposing 4 or 6 inches of tidie whities. 
Finally, I said: “Gee, Julz, why not”?  She said “he’s a Yankees’ fan”.  My response was immediate and visceral: “I don’t think I could ever accept that”.  You see, I was raised in a household where my father once said that rooting for the Yankees was like hoping oil companies make more profit.  Certainly, no good could come of this.
Fast forward a few more years, to their first apartment.  In their dining room, they each had a desk, with their shrines over them: she with Red Sox, he with Yankees memorabilia.  I was hopeful; if they could work through this conflict of values, this good versus evil, this Red Sox/Yankees thing, there was a chance for this relationship.  Really, their zeal for their respective teams was more about loyalty and how they were raised than anything else.
But then, I thought about what they had in common: this love for the game of baseball.  I think if they lived in a minor league city, they would become avid fans of their team.  To them, baseball is a game of geometric precision, of tradition, of nuance, of inches.  It’s a game played in a park, in an urban setting during the lazy days of summer and has not changed much, except for a few minor tweaks, for over 150 years.  It’s a sport in which there is no clock, nor is the position of the ball over a designated spot always the determinant of scoring.  The individual’s effort on behalf of the concept of team is essential for success; World Series winners are full of them.  When the individual places self over team, you’ve got anti-harmony types like Manny Ramirez.  Each season begins with such optimism, as every team (this week) is in first place, with a shot at taking it all.
So, Julia and David, my congratulations.  May you continue to celebrate your successes yet not lord over another’s setbacks.  May your passion for this grand old game pale in comparison to the passions you share.  May you win lots of world series and may every day of your lives together feel like opening day, full of optimism and hope for what the day will bring to you.

I can seriously pick out the sentence that is being spoken during each of those shots!  I especially like how Mama Lioness is looking at me and Mr. Lion in that last one...she's so psyched.  BBC indeed!

Do you think you'll tear up during your wedding weekend?  Or are you not the crying type?

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Before the Mane Event: Rehearsal Dinner

I had always imagined leaving rehearsal with some of my favorite people by my side, laughing all the way to our rehearsal dinner venue.  In actuality (well, for me anyway), there was too much business to attend to.  This person was staying in this place Friday night only, this stuff had to go over here, these people were carpooling but those people weren't.  We all went our separate ways, and I set out alone to drive to our new rehearsal dinner venue (you know, because the original venue had closed down).  Amid the chaos, I remembered that my gas light had come on in my car earlier that day...about 10 miles ago earlier that day.  So, I was late to my own rehearsal dinner because I had to get gas!

Turns out, I was lucky to be running late.  Things over at our rehearsal dinner venue were a mess!  Don't get me wrong, this restaurant is awesome; but, I don't think they were used to a party of our size, and they certainly weren't used to catering.  Fortunately, MIL Lion stepped into their kitchen (yep) and let her Latina mama powers take over.  After about 15 minutes, the curtains opened and our show was up and running!

I was greeted by a buffet filled with some of my favorite Cuban dishes, as well as tables filled with some of my favorite people.
With four of the five Lioness Bmaids and their "signivs"

Our rehearsal dinner was dry, as our hole-in-the-wall venue didn't have a liquor license.  This worked out for the best, as we had to get ready the next morning at 6:00 AM (more on that later).  Also, it was the perfect excuse to get cute Latin sodas like these!
{Evan Hampton Photography}

I had told MIL Lion that I didn't need any decorations for our rehearsal dinner.  It was a very casual, low-key event, and I didn't want anything more than a good meal.  Well, she decided that we needed a little something, and made a last minute trip to Michael's.  Oh, and she snuck in champagne.  How awesome is she?!
{Evan Hampton Photography}

Unfortunately, we stuffed our faces too quickly to get a good shot of the food.  I assure you, it was delicious!  Overall, the dinner had a very laid-back vibe.  We were glad to be able to relax with loved ones before the big day.

What little extras are you planning on including at your rehearsal dinner?  Or are you like me, and you haven't really planned on having any at all?

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Before the Mane Event: Rehearsal

After a fun day with my favorite girls, and a brief wardrobe change, it was time to head over to the venue for rehearsal.  What's that?  You want to hear about my outfit?  Well, okay!

I wanted to wear something bridal, but I also wanted something that captured the style of our wedding.  I decided on a white dress with shamrock green accents.  I wore a Vineyard Vines silk sundress with a Limited cardigan.  I accessorized with some silver strappy sandals that I had lying around, as well as a pearl necklace and earrings set that I received as a gift from a family member.
 {cardigan by Limited / via WWEPW, dress by Vineyard Vines / via Little Bow Prep}

Here's the outfit in action, complete with my ribbon-clad rehearsal bouquet.  Oh, and hey!  This is the first official pro-pic!  Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Evan Hampton's fine work:

Papa Lioness, showed above and also looking snazzy in green, walked me down the aisle.  We were ready for a run-through.

It's pretty surreal looking at this now, now that I've seen this same shot on the wedding day itself.  But at that moment, all I was thinking was YES!
{all photos by Evan Hampton unless otherwise noted}

The funny thing about rehearsal was that I couldn't stop shaking.  I was like a nervous chihuahua!  I don't know if I was cold, nervous, excited or happy, but things were definitely starting to set it.

How did your rehearsal go?

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Before the Mane Event: Family Reunion at the Nail Salon

With full bellies and smiling faces, my girls and I left brunch and headed for the nail salon.  I was so psyched to be able to spend the day with five of my favorite women.  Then, once we arrived at the nail salon, I was greeted by a few more of my favorite women!


Oh hi cousins!  I'm always thrilled to see these ladies, but I was especially excited this time.  You see, my pregnant bridesmaid wasn't the only mom-to-be at our wedding.  We recently learned that the girl standing on the right in that photo was pregnant!  She and her husband are my newlywed role models,  They both seem so happy, but they're good at keeping it real.  I couldn't have been happier for her, and I was so glad that I was able to celebrate with her a little bit before the wedding!

My cousins also brought another gift with them, my grandmother.

Grandmommy Lioness is my only living grandparent.  She had been sick on and off for a few years, and recently decided to move from the house we visited for years to an independent living facility.  She hadn't traveled in years, and we weren't sure whether it was safe for her to fly to Atlanta for the wedding.  My dad and his siblings made some arrangements and were able to get her everything she needed once in Atlanta.  It meant so much to her, but I think it meant even more to me.  Here she is standing up from her Rollator walker, which she never locks before sitting in.  Seriously, Grandmommy Lioness?  You can't have a physical therapist as a granddaughter if you wanna do that stuff without a lecture!

 How did you, or how do you plan to, spend quality time with family before the big day?