Some Thoughts on a Long Engagement

The length of an engagement is a very interesting concept to me.  It varies so much by couple, and it's such an individual choice.  We talked about our wedding date (well, roughly...more like our wedding season) before we even got engaged.  Once I had Spring of 2011 stuck in my head, it didn't matter when we got engaged.  I have a friend who had similar thoughts, though her thinking landed her with a very different engagement length.  She and her now-fiance planned to get married in August of 2010.  They made this decision well before August, but when the proposal didn't come until April, they ended up with only a 4-month engagement.

Now, I would not have been able to handle a 4-month engagement.  She, on the other hand, can't imagine having an engagement as long as ours.  Having a long engagement has had several advantages for us.  First of all, we're on a pretty tight budget.  The fact that we've had plenty of time to shop around and find the best deals has definitely been helpful.  Also, it's allowed us to focus more on everything else that's going on in our lives right now (not much really, just graduating, taking the bar/boards, and starting our careers).  We still have plenty of time for wedding planning, without forcing everything else to be put on the back burner.

I have noticed, though, that an engagement longer than a year seems to invite a lot of comments from the peanut gallery.  I've heard all sorts of advice and suggestions regarding our engagement length and frankly, I just don't see why it's such a source of criticism.  The comment that caught me the most by surprise was, "Aren't you afraid people will forget about it by then?" Maybe it's just me, but I'm not so selfish that I need people to be CONSTANTLY thinking about our wedding up until the big day.  No, they're not going to forget about it; it just won't be on their mind the entire time, which I think is perfectly appropriate.  Conversely, I'm sure my friend with the 4-month engagement hears her own fair share of criticism.  You can't please everyone.  The sooner we brides accept that, the sooner our planning process becomes much easier.

The best part of a 20-month engagement?  The pre-anniversary.  Hey, I'll take any excuse for a celebration.  Give me a reason and I'll make a holiday out of it!  April 2, 2010 was an absolutely gorgeous day in Atlanta.  If that day is half as beautiful in 2011 as it was in 2010, I'll be thrilled.  We took Lion Corgi for an extra long walk as we gazed upon just-budding trees and smelled the new spring air.  We made a delicious dinner, followed by a big night in featuring some Netflix and some baking:

Personal photo: CUPCAKES!

We talked about how much we were looking forward to our wedding day, and we joked (in our usual corny manner) about, "Hey what are you doing this time next year?  Wanna meet for lunch with some friends?"

Engagement length is a personal decision, and I think everyone chooses what works for them.  For us, dragging out something this fun seemed like a good choice.  How about you?

The Shoes That Almost Weren't

I had so many ideas of what to give my bridesmaids as a thank you for being there for me on the big day.  Then, I had a thought.  Maybe the greatest gift of all wouldn't be necessarily the most unique, most beautiful, most thoughtful gift.  Maybe the greatest gift would be not having to spend so much money.  Being a bridesmaid is expensive!  Not to mention the fact that ALL SIX of my bridesmaids are still in school.  I hinted about this thought to Sister Lioness and Bmaid Emily, both of whom agreed that they would rather have me cover some of their expenses, even if it meant missing out on this:

 Source: Fine & Fleurie

So, I decided to cover their shoes.  Yes, yes, I know, we hadn't yet picked out the bridesmaids dresses.  I knew the bridesmaids dresses would be solid green, so I knew these would match when I found them.  I picked out a lovely pair of D'Orsay peep toes from David's Bridal and gave my girls their first official bmaid task: try them on.  Seemed simple enough, right?  Every town has it's own David's Bridal, and they don't even need to worry about paying for them.  Just try them on, call me with your size, no big whoop.  I mean, I'd be pretty eager to get these babies on my feet anyway.

 Source: David's Bridal

Unfortunately, it was the end of the spring semester and everyone was super busy.  And it was no piece of cake to try to rally 6 girls in 5 cities in 3 states to get this done.  After a few months, I finally got everyone's sizes.  I was really glad I had them try on the actual shoes because they ended up running quite large.  Adjusted sizes in hand, I called the Atlanta David's Bridal one morning to order all six pairs of shoes.  Well, they informed me that they have been DISCONTINUED and therefore I could NOT order them from their warehouse/shipment center/mothership.

I asked them to look through what they had in their store, and they told me they had ONE size 7, and everything else was bigger.  "Hmm, it's like everyone's snatched up the smaller sizes!" the saleswoman observed.  "Like, these must, like, run large or something!"  Duh, that's why I asked everyone to try them on!  She said she could search through the inventory of every David's Bridal in the country and "call me back" (oh yeah, that definitely goes in quotes).  This sounded like a long task, so I wasn't expecting to hear from her until tomorrow.  I started to look at back up options on dsw.com just in case.

I called Sister Lioness, who lived in Gainesville at the time, to tell her that my brainchild of pairing these gorgeous shoes with lovely green dresses might not come to fruition.  Sister Lioness was already out and about, and offered to visit the Gainesville David's Bridal and see what they had in stock.  She discovered two size 7s and a size 6.5.  We now had 2/3 of the shoes that we needed.  I wasn't sure whether to go ahead and get them or not...what if I did and then I couldn't find the other 3 pairs?  So I called Atlanta back to ask them if they had ANY 5.5s.  A different saleswoman answered my question with, "nope...there are only 2 pairs left in the country: one in Des Moins, Iowa and one in Norfolk, Virginia."  I asked her how she knew that so quickly, and she responded, "I just looked it up on our system."  I decided to give up on the incompetent saleswoman with whom I spoke earlier and I asked for the phone numbers for these two stores.  Norfolk did, in fact, have a size 5.5 and (upon further research) Tampa had a size 6!  Luckily, I was going to Tampa that weekend for a friend's bridal shower.  I picked up the one pair in Atlanta, I had Norfolk to ship the 5.5 to me, and Sister Lioness picked up the three in Gainesville.

I have to say I was quite impressed with David's Bridal's sense of urgency.  These shoes had been discontinued, and they helped me search all over the country to make sure I got what I wanted.  And they were efficient, too!

So there you have it: the saga of the shoes that almost weren't.  Sometimes things have a way of working themselves out...especially when you have an amazing MOH to help you with the dirty work!  Have you had to jump through any hoops throughout your planning process?

Stationary Practice

About halfway through my final semester of school ever, my iBook decided it was time to move on into that great big Apple store in the sky.  This wasn't too difficult for me to accept because Apple stopped making the iBook in 2004, and mine was certainly well past its prime.  I ventured into my local Apple store to purchase a MacBook.  The Mac Genius told me that I could also get a new printer and it would only cost me $30 after a mail-in rebate.  A new printer?  My mind immediately went to wedding planning.  I could design our save the dates on Mac's Pages and then print them on card stock myself!  Think of all the money I could save!  I decided it was definitely worth $30 and I bought it.

I'm not going to lie though...the whole DIY on the computer idea kind of intimidated me.  Michael's I can handle.  This was a new monster.  I decided that the best way to conquer my fear was to practice.  Fortunately, I was graduating in a few weeks.  Making my own graduation announcements would save money and give me an opportunity to practice!

Materials:
A printer that has the ability to adjust according to paper size (look for an envelope feature)
#10 Luxe Fino Flat Cards 25 for $6.25 at Paper Source
#10 Open End Luxe Fino Envelopes 10 for $5.50 at Paper Source
Squeeze Punch - 1/2" Rounded Corner $11.95 at Paper Source

I chose cream as the color for the flat cards, and I chose gold shimmer as the color for the envelopes (gold and navy are my school colors).

I then created a new document in Pages and set the page dimensions to the dimensions of the #10 card.  I inserted an image of my school's logo (don't worry, royalty-free), then inserted a line to divide the card, then I just typed in a pretty font.  I printed them out and used my fancy corner puncher to give it that little something extra.

I'm so sorry I had to blur the name!  It was so pretty!

Close up

Envelopes

The envelopes involved a little bit more trial and error, so I'm glad I bought a few extra.  I only sent 12 of these, so I don't think I saved too much money in the long run.  But if you consider the fact that I'll use the printer and the corner puncher for future projects, it's not that bad of an investment!  Above all, I was really pleased with my work.  It felt more personal than buying something from somewhere, and when I received compliments, it meant a lot more.  I'm officially in love with Paper Source now, and I plan to use them for many future wedding projects to come!  Stay tuned!

Our First Budget Readjustment

You know?  You plan and you plan and you think you cover everything.  But then something comes up and requires a budget makeover.  You see, I was convinced that we didn't need a videographer.  I'm more into still photos, and we had hired an amazing photographer (more on that later).  I changed my mind when I saw this:

Source: Disney Weddings

That's my cousin and her husband, and that's their wedding video montage.  I watched it, I cried a little, and I fell in love with the idea of having one of our very own.  Short, but sweet.  Intimate, but accessible.  It was perfect.  So really, it wasn't that I wanted a wedding video, just a video montage.  Unfortunately, you need to have a wedding video first in order to create a highlights reel from it.

I moved some things around (mostly our floral budget...that category keeps taking hit after hit!  Just not a priority to us, I suppose) to accommodate $2000 for videography.  If that sounds steep to you, you're in for a big surprise.  That's the low end of videography.  Videography is wicked expensive.

I researched potential vendors (via The Knot and Wedding Wire) and narrowed it down to two.  The biggest factor in narrowing it down was price.  The second, if we're being honest here, was the quality of their website.  So many videographers' sites didn't actually have video!  Some did, but either the video quality was mediocre, and/or the rest of the site wasn't really up to par.  Maybe I was being superficial, but the way I saw it, these vendors are artists.  The little bit of extra effort it took to construct their site in a way that complimented their work made such a difference.  Flash was a bonus.

I requested demos from the two vendors that made the cut.  When they arrived, I was a little disappointed with the first one.  When I watched the second one, I realized that I was tearing up at the love stories of complete strangers.  This videographer managed to capture every wonderful, unique aspect of the couple they documented.  It wasn't just about that day, it was about the couple's lives together.  Hive, allow me to introduce you to Three Ring Weddings.

Three Ring Weddings markets themselves as producers of "love stories."  They even interview the couple a few months before the wedding to get to know them.  This helps them come up with a story line so that the wedding video takes on a true storyline.  I ate this up.  Best of all, they actually listed their prices directly on their site.  I know!  Unheard of in the wedding world!  They offer a new "economy package" that was just under budget.  We immediately put down a deposit, friended them on Facebook, and bragged about how they made the Little Black Book on Style Me Pretty.

All in all, I was thrilled with our budget readjustment.  I can't wait to see the results!  Did a new wedding wish force some flexibility into your planning process?

Saying Yes to the Dress

I wanted to get dress shopping done early because I felt that the dress would set the tone and the theme for the entire event.  I began my dress shopping adventure by browsing through bridal magazines in an effort to research designers and to get an idea of what I wanted.  This did not help me at all.  I had a very clear idea of what I wanted, but I wasn't sure how it would look on me.  I went to David's Bridal with a friend who is also wedding planning, and we tried on several very different gowns to narrow down our search.  I found shopping, with no intent to buy, incredibly helpful and I highly recommend it when it comes to wedding dresses.  I came to David's Bridal with A, B, and C in mind; I left thinking of X, Y, and Z.

Attached to the idea of a dress with X, Y, and Z, I began to research bridal boutiques.  I googled, asked around, and narrowed it down to 7 stores.  I then looked at each store's website and viewed their selection.  Some carried more designers than others, and some had more affordable designers.  I narrowed it down again to 3 final stores and made appointments.  All of this involved lots of color coded spreadsheeting, of course!

Mr. Lion, do NOT read any further! 

I went to my appointments with some of my bridesmaids, and found my dress at the first one.  I knew it was the one.  I didn't cry or scream or anything like that, but I kept it on for about 45 minutes and just didn't want to take it off!  I wanted to be sure, so I went to my next appointment.  I found another one that I liked a lot and immediately stressed out.  The other salon had told me that I would get a discount if I ordered it today, so I wanted to make a decision.  I called Mama Lioness on the verge of tears and asked her what to do.  She gave me some of the best advice I've had so far with wedding planning: "If you like both of them, then you need to think about which one HE would like more."  I pictured myself walking down the aisle in the dress I was wearing, and I smiled.  I pictured myself walking down the aisle in the dress I had worn earlier that day, and I smiled wider and burst into tears.  There was the Lifetime movie moment I had been looking for!  We left the salon and called the other store to make our purchase, the Zora by WToo:

Personal photo: Looking pretty psyched.

How did your research and advice affect your dress shopping?  Did it help you narrow it down or did you go a different route?

Location, Location, Location

So we finally got back to Atlanta after living in Boston for three months and traveling to Florida for a couple of weeks.  Time to start planning right?  Wrong.  I went to Guatemala for ten days.  Hey, I'm a graduate student.  Clearly, I'm trying to save the world.

But then I got back to Atlanta and decided it was time for us to book a venue.  Yes, we still had 15 months until our chosen date, but I'm picky.  I'm sure laid back brides who are much more flexible than I am do not need to start planning that early.  I am incredibly opinionated and I knew that if I wanted my pick of the litter, I needed to get there before everyone else did.  I did a lot of research and selected 15 places to further examine.  I used these criteria to narrow down the list from there:

• Indoor/Outdoor: We really wanted a garden wedding, but I'm also a control freak so I wanted to make sure that we had a back-up plan in case the weather got the better of us.
• Ceremony & Reception: We're faithful and spiritual people, but we are not religious.  We didn't need a church/synagogue/straw hut, and we felt that we could save money on guest transportation by having the ceremony and the reception in the same location.
• Affordable: We budgeted $12K for the venue if it included catering, $6K if it did not.  We couldn't go a dime over.
• Nearby: Trying to find a place within 30 minutes of Atlanta made the affordable thing trickier, but I felt like convenience was more of a priority.

From there, we were left with four potential venues.  I then came up with new criteria:

• Charming: I'm pretty quirky (as you may have noticed?) and I wanted a place with a story.
• Big Enough: We were anticipating 125-150 guests, which is in no way a large wedding.  But given the charm factor that we were looking for, many venues on our list were more quaint than charming, and couldn't even hold that many.
• Flexible: We had a lot of time to plan, and a very small amount of money to spend.  I planned to take advantage of that by shopping around for different vendors and by doing a lot on my own.  Many venues are all-inclusive, which is super convenient for some people...but when you had as much time as we did, it was an unnecessary convenience.

Here's how our final four measured up to those criteria:

Piedmont Room

 Barristers Ball, 2010

Two of my favorite things in the world are the skylines and the color green.  Piedmont Room has plenty of both.  Piedmont Room is the special events facility at Park Tavern, one of my favorite bars in Atlanta.  It overlooks Piedmont Park and the midtown skyline.  Unfortunately, this one was vetoed because of the charm factor.  It's BEAUTIFUL, but we needed something a little more funky.

Rhodes Hall

Source

Now we're talking charm factor!  Rhodes Hall, locally known as The Castle on Peachtree, was built in 1904.  It's currently used as the headquarters for the Georgia Trust, who operate Rhodes Hall in addition to other historic sites throughout the state.  Rhodes Hall was more than able to accommodate our guests...outside only.  Their indoor facilities, though lovely, were a little small for us.  Basically, if it rained, we'd have to send some people home.  I was a little disappointed, but I moved on.

Flint Hil

Source

I love this place.  Flint Hill is an antebellum home, turned events facility.  It was perfect for a garden wedding and an indoor reception.  The price was right, and the woman I spoke to on the phone was fabulous!  They are an all-inclusive facility, though incredibly flexible compared to their competition.  Something still didn't feel right though...

Anthony's Fine Dining

Source

Funny story about Anthony's: I'm an alumna of Kappa Kappa Gamma, and the Kappa Atlanta Alumnae Association held a luncheon at Anthony's a few years ago.  Gringa Bridesmaid Emily (who is also a Kappa) decided to go and we absolutely fell in love with the place.  This was long before I got engaged, but Emily still insisted on planning my wedding there.  She went and found the head chef, got him to give us a tour, and we talked prices.  We were just being silly but to be honest, it's been in the back of my mind ever since.  Anthony's is an antebellum home, built in 1797, and it's now a restaurant in the middle of Buckhead.  The garden is perfect for the ceremony, the Ladybug Room is perfect for the reception, the wine celler is a really cool place to get ready...I loved everything about it.  It met all of the criteria, so we decided to go take a peek.

We made an appointment for a tour and ended up staying there for a few hours, just chatting with Mary and Amy, Anthony's wonderful coordinators.  We told them we'd go look around and let them know what we decided.  We decided on the five-minute drive home.

I was a little disappointed that I didn't go check out the other venues, but I don't like giving myself the opportunity to second-guess myself.  I never check over my exams before turning them into my professor and I wasn't about to second guess this gut feeling.  I was especially curious about what Flint Hill looked like in person, but fortunatley one of my best friends is getting married there in October!  I suppose we'll see it then!

A Subtle Tribute for Unsubtle Fans

I don't remember exactly when, but around Christmas break we started discussing dates.  We knew we wanted Spring 2011, because we were both graduating in Spring 2010.  We knew we wanted a Saturday, because so many of our guests would be coming from out-of-state.  So I whipped out my iPhone and took a look at the calendar.  I decided March might be too cold, and May would be too close to three of my bridesmaid's graduations (more about how incredibly brilliant and talented my friends are later).  That left April.

Source: my iCal

I immediately checked the vitals: Passover was the 19th through the 25th.  Easter Sunday was the 24th.  The NCAA March Madness Finals were the 4th.  That left the 2nd, the 9th, the 16th, and the 30th.  My mom didn't like the 2nd because it was too close to my birthday.  I didn't like the 16th or the 30th because it was too close to actual wedding season (and finals for my lovely bmaids who are still in school).  So now that left the 2nd and the 9th.  Then, I had an epiphany.

Source: SoxBlog

Do you know who that is?  It's Jackie Robinson.  He broke the color barrier.  Now, I've told you that Mr. Lion and I are huge baseball fans.  I'm a Sox fan and he's a Yankees fan.  This is the source of all of our arguments.

Personal photo: Hat fight, circa 2005

Personal photo: Interleague Sox game at Turner Field, 2009.

Mr. Lion was not thrilled that my boys were winning.

Regardless of who you root for in baseball, integration is something we can all agree on.  Jackie's number is 42, so April 2nd would be a wonderful tribute to him and all he did for the game.

I was psyched.  We had set a date AND discovered a fun way to incorporate our love for baseball into our wedding day.  Plus, Mr. Lion could never forget an anniversary date like that!

How did you choose your date?  Does your date have a certain significance behind it?