Monday, August 30, 2010

Finding the Right Words

Most of our wedding ideas thus far have revolved around the reception.  We've had our first dance song picked out since before we got engaged, I had imagined exactly what I wanted our centerpieces to look like, and have I mentioned the food?  I suppose this is pretty normal for most brides, but I find it ironic because, to me, the ceremony is the most important part of a wedding.

Here's my confession: the ceremony kinda intimidated me.

I'm Jewish and Mr. Lion is Catholic, though neither of us practice our faiths strictly.  We both believe in spirituality and in an individual religious identity, though neither of us really follow an organized pattern.  Though we do not feel that our religions are a huge part of who we are, we still wanted a somewhat religious ceremony.  I wanted to make sure that Jewish customs were included, but I wanted them to be presented in an interfaith manner.  Mr. Lion was actually much more flexible about his side of things; he wanted to allude to a higher power, but in a more nondenominational sense.

Upon considering all of these factors, it seemed as though it was going to be quite the challenge to have our cake and eat it too.  I mean, we were basically writing our own ritual!  How in the world do people do that?!  Well, I went on Weddingbee and looked into a few secular readings, as well as a few Christian readings, and a few Jewish traditions.  Their message board served as an excellent resource for finding exactly what I was looking for.  I bookmarked lots of things, and went back to avoiding planning the ceremony saved it for a rainy day to discuss with Mr. Lion.

Well, August 29th rolled around...our one-year engageaversary.  We decided to celebrate by choosing our ceremony readings.  I read my favorite bookmarks aloud to Mr. Lion, while he rated each one on a scale from 1-5.  Then, we narrowed it down from there and decided on several pieces that would become components of our ceremony.  Our overall favorite came from a sample interfaith Ketubah, a traditional Jewish wedding contract.  Though we don't plan to sign a Ketubah, we fell in love with this particular one's words.  In fact, we plan to rearrange it and use it in our vows.

The bride and groom stood before family and friends, gazed upon each other and declared: “I have found you, whom my soul loves.  I bind myself to you, whom my heart desires utterly, passionately, and selflessly.  I vow to place you before all others, and nurture your mind, body and spirit.  I will forevermore hold you dear to me and stand by your side in both joy and sorrow.  I will dream your dreams and comfort you in times of challenge.  May our love continue to grow from strength to strength and intertwine us through the years as we create our family together. We will make a home in which the flow of seasons and the passage of time are marked according to our traditions, where the joy of children’s laughter rings in every room, and where we aid in the repairing and healing of the world.  According to the rituals of marriage, I make you holy to me with this ring.  May it be a sign of my love for the world to behold.  I enter with you, my beloved, into this.

The best part about choosing our ceremony readings was that we did it together.  I've done most of the wedding planning so far on my own.  Mr. Lion is always happy to offer an opinion when asked, but he's just not into it enough to take initiative.  I'm really glad the ceremony was more his thing.  It provided a level of comfort that allowed me to directly face something that was out of my comfort zone.  It was also incredibly romantic...reading through such meaningful words and imagining what it would be to hear them on the big day.  We're not the most romantic couple in the world.  We're silly and sarcastic, and we like having fun with each other.  This makes the rare sappy moments even more special.  I was so glad I got to share this part of the planning process with Mr. Lion.


What parts of wedding planning have intimidated you?  Has your fiance helped to pull you out of that funk?

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