A Surprise for The Ladies

Sorry to do this to y'all so early in a post, but I can't ruin a surprise!

I was researching Southern wedding traditions when I came across the "cake pull."  In this tradition, tiny charms are inserted inside different layers of the wedding cake.  The charms are attached to ribbons, which fan out from inside the cake.  The bride chooses other women (usually her bridesmaids) to pull the ribbons out.  Each woman is left with a ribbon attached to a tiny charm, which represents some kind of cute fortune.

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I had never heard of this tradition before, but I loved it.  It got people involved, and it incorporated that element of whimsy that I've grown to love so much.  The only problem was that we're doing cupcakes.  Then, I remembered the fortune bouquet that Mrs. Flamingo and Mrs. Husky had blogged about!

Source: Martha Stewart Weddings

Imagine you're a single lady.  You gather around the bride with the other single ladies hoping to catch the bride's bouquet.  When the bride tosses the blooms up in the air, they magically pull apart to reveal several small bouquets.

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Best of all, each small bouquet has a ribbon attached to it, much like the ribbons in the traditional Southern wedding cake.  The only difference is that the ribbon is not attached to a charm of good fortune.  Instead, each ribbon has a unique fortune written on it.

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I decided to go with this idea, and to make it myself with fabric flowers (tutorial coming soon!).  Instead of fortunes written on the ribbons, I decided to include different quotes about love.  Here are the ones I decided on:

A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.

Mahatma Gandhi

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
Ingrid Bergman

I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
Mother Teresa

In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged.
Hans Nouwens

Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
Lisa Hoffman

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.
Zora Neale Hurston

Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.
Zelda Fitzgerald

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

John Lennon & Paul McCartney

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Oscar Wilde

Where there is love there is life.

Mahatma Gandhi

What surprises do you have in store for your wedding guests?  Are you taking a non-traditional spin on something more traditional?

Somewhere Between Greedy and Guilty

Disclaimer: This is a money-related post.  I will try my best not to offend, but I'd also like to be honest.  Bear with me :)

Lately, I've been experiencing a good bit of guilt about our wedding.  Not only are we spending a lot of money on things I would usually find frivolous, we're also asking our guests to spend money on presents, on top of all of their travel expenses.  This makes me feel as though I come across like this:

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I wouldn't go as far as to say that I had a humble upbringing.  Especially when I compare my parents' background to that of Mr. Lion's parents, who came to this country with very little, I feel incredibly fortunate.  My parents were comfortable, but not nearly wealthy.  Even if my parents had been well-off, I think Sister Lioness and I would still be raised with the same morals and values when it came to money.  My parents prioritized travel and education, but they were pretty thrifty with everything else.  As soon as I was old enough to work, I did.  My parents were more than happy to give me everything I needed, but if I wanted something, I worked for it and bought it myself.  This taught me to spend conservatively and carefully consider every purchase.

I now have an internal conflict brewing between the usual scrutiny that takes place over purchases and the more liberal spending I've been doing with our wedding.  This makes me feel guilty/sad/awkward/bad.  Like this:

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We're spending $20,000 on our wedding, which, according to Cost of Wedding, is below the average cost of an Atlanta wedding.  But to me, it seems like a fortune.  My car was $8,600 when I bought it at age 16.  Mr. Lion and I do not own our home.  I've just never spent that much money on one thing!  So when I look at all those zeros in our budget, I feel a little overwhelmed.

I know what you're thinking: "Sooo don't spend that much money.  Tah dah!  Problem solved!"  Well, the issue is that I want certain things for our wedding...certain things that end up adding up to about $20,000.

When we first got engaged, my parents offered to contribute $8,000.  Anything beyond that was up to us.  Could we have a wedding for $8,000?  Of course!  I've seen some beautiful weddings that end up costing even less than that!  But, it's not what we wanted.  We made a list of everything we wanted, we researched to determine approximately what those things would cost, and the figure we ended up with was $20,000.  After the $8,000 contribution from my parents, we were left with a $12,000 contribution from our own savings.  Given our 20-month engagement, we decided that saving this amount was doable.  Doable, but still not necessary ethical in my mind.

After over a year of wedding planning (and wedding purchasing), I still have moments where I feel incredibly guilty for the amount of money I'm spending.  For example, when we decided to have cupcakes at our wedding, we decided to top those cupcakes with little pinwheels.

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Cute, right?  And they match our whimsical theme, yes?  The only problem was that there was no way I was DIY-ing hundreds of these.  I don't have the patience of Mrs. Guinea Pig :) I found an Etsy seller who made pinwheels like these at a price that fit within our budget.  Still, I debated about buying them for an embarrassing amount of time.  It just seemed so silly to spend money on paper that would attach to a toothpick, stick into a cupcake for a couple of hours, then get thrown away.  After a ridiculous amount of discussion with many people, I finally sucked it up and bought them.

I feel the same way about wedding gifts.  Mr. Lion and I were thrilled to create gift registries.  We greedily ran through Bed Bath & Beyond with our registry gun, zapping everything in sight that we even slightly liked.  Then, our friends (who are also engaged) told us that they are not registering for their wedding.  "We've lived together for a few years already," they said.  "We've already built our home.  We already have everything we need."  Well, when you look at it that way, I suppose we have everything we need, too.  Sure, our kitchen is full of hand-me-downs from the 1970s (and not in the cool, retro kind of way), but everything works.  I was instantly transformed from greedy to guilty.

The guilt is something I'm continuing to work on.  The good news is that the people who will be attending our wedding would never even think about passing judgment on us or on our spending.  They love us, and they support us.  I take solace in the fact that this is only an internal conflict, not an external one.  I've been feeling better about my spending lately, but the idea of so many people spending money on us still makes me slightly uncomfortable.  It's new and foreign to me, but I'm sure that when the time comes, I'll just be happy to have received so much love from our guests!

Has anyone else felt this way about their wedding spending or their wedding gifting?

A Unique Opportunity

One of my PT school BFFs got married back in August.  I had the privilege of being a bridesmaid, but more importantly, my other PT school BFFs were bridesmaids too.  It was the first time that the five of us (well, the ten of us if you count our SOs) were reunited since graduation in May, so we had a lot of fun to catch up on!

One of the most important people present was PT school BFF Christina's husband, Evan, who was the wedding photographer that weekend.  As I've mentioned before, he's also our wedding photographer...and I have to say, seeing Evan in action was a really interesting experience.  Evan has been our friend for a couple of years now.  He argues with us about whether or not the finale to "Lost" was good enough, he's always introducing us to great new music, and he has a serious problem with saying "that's what she said" far too often.  But that weekend, I got to see a different side of him.

{personal photo}

Granted, we had already hired Evan, but that weekend was almost like an audition.  We got to see him when he was at his professional best.  His confidence put everyone at ease, which was strange because he's probably the second most awkward one in our group (second to me, of course).  He was clear and direct with instructions, but never overbearing.  He led well, but was also open to all kinds of ideas.  I was wicked psyched when he finished editing and sent over the finals.  It was so wonderful to see the finished product!

There were the more traditional shots, like putting on the dress...

...and admiring the final bridal look.

But there were also the less traditional photos.  One unique Evan-ism is what I like to call the "playing with layers" shot:

 

Another thing I liked about Evan's work was that even though both the ceremony and the reception were indoors, he wasn't afraid to deviate from the plan and take advantage of a gorgeous day.

One thing I admire about Evan's photography skills is that he somehow has the ability to see things that most people don't notice.  For example, I had no idea that the sun was making this shot possible:

{all photos by Weddings by Evan Hampton unless otherwise noted}

Seeing our photographer in action reaffirmed our decision to use him, not just because he's our friend but because he just plain rocks.  I've also heard of brides who found their wedding bands at another friend's wedding.  Have you had the opportunity to see one of your vendors in action?

If I Had A Million Dollars

If money was no object when it came to our wedding, the first thing I would change is the amount of money I'm spending on my bridesmaids.  Out of the 6 Lioness Bmaids, 5 are in grad/med/law school and only one lives in Atlanta.  This means lots of travel expenses on very tight budgets.  These ladies have both literally and figuratively gone the distance for me, and I just wish I could afford to thank them more than I already plan to.  If I had the means, I would get them something like this:

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Hive, allow me to introduce you to 1154 Lill Studio, a custom handbag design company.  Sure, they have stuff like this on Etsy, but one of the things that makes 1154 Lill so fun is the experience.  You see, unless you live in Chicago or Boston where they have actual studios (or if you just shop online), you find a representative and design your own bag at a 1154 Lill party!  How fun would it be to have a handbag designing party with your bridesmaids?

You start with a blank canvas, which comes in every shape and size:

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Then, you choose your fabrics.  Note: you can also buy any of these fabrics by the yard...so you could make handbags to match your decor!

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I wish I could do this for my girls, but unfortunately it's just not possible.  Don't worry though; I have a few tricks up my sleeve in addition to the shoes and fascinators that they know they're getting!  What are you getting your bridesmaids as gifts?  What would you get them if you could get them anything?

It Started with a Chair

10 points if you can name the movie reference in the title!  One thing that I love about our antebellum-home-turned-restaurant venue is that it has a lot of the original accents.  Paintings that belonged to the original owners line the walls, while first edition novels fill the shelves.  Some rooms even have antique pieces of furniture, though many of them are refinished.  For our outdoor, vintage-garden ceremony, I prefer something a little less polished.  You know...that distressed, old but beautiful look.  What if we set up something like this for our ceremony?

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I love the idea of a statement piece of furniture as ceremony decor.  For example, look how these dressers bring together a tabletop display:

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Though the dresser seemed like a much more functional option, I couldn't justify the cost.  Additionally, transporting a dresser to my venue in my tiny sedan seemed like a disaster waiting to happen.  Thus, the chair was born.

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Wouldn't it just be lovely to have a stack of programs propped up on one of those chairs for guests to grab on their way to their seats?  Yeah, I thought so too.  So, imagine the squealing that ensued when I found this at one of my favorite antique stores for only $35:

{personal photo}

And here it is with a tarnished copper bowl, which will be filled with said programs:

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Are you using distressed furniture in your decor?  What kind of treasures have you found?

Then & Now: Lioness Edition

At first glance, it doesn't look like much has changed with me since high school.  I still like baseball, I still like to dance, and I am still physically unable to get a tan.  Oh and, of course, I was a Disney geek...even in 1999.

{I'm so sorry, Sister Lioness!}

Yikes.  Shall we move on to post-braces days?  Good.  Glad we're in agreement.

When you take a closer look, though, I have changed quite a bit.  Sure, I'm still the same goofy gal, but I like that gal a lot more now than I did back then.  It's the age-old cliche: I was an insecure and angst-ridden teen, then I found myself, now I'm a confident adult.  But it's true.  Over the years, I've learned to embrace my quirks.  Some of my oddest qualities are now among my favorite and because of this, I've learned to befriend people who feel the same way and move past those who don't.

My views on love have evolved as I have.  I've always known that I wanted to get married.  I've always known that I wanted to be a bride and to have a big wedding, but more importantly, I've always wanted to fall in love.  Papa Lioness always told me that the only man deserving of that love was someone who "treated me like a princess and as an intellectual equal."  One high school boyfriend treated me like a princess, though the equality department was lacking a bit.  My feminist side didn't put up with that too well, so when he moved away to college, I welcomed the opportunity to end the relationship and move on.  I started dating my second high school boyfriend, who met the other of my dad's criteria.  He respected my intelligence, but didn't exactly treat me like a princess.

But the thing about feeling insecure and growing into yourself is that you'd rather be in a sub-par relationship than be alone.  I stayed in each of these relationships for far longer than I should have.  I settled, because at least that meant I had a boyfriend.  In hindsight, now that I'm older and wiser, I needed to love myself independently before I could find someone who deserved me according to my dad's criteria.  So, I was single for a while, "found myself," and grew up.  Then, under the inspiration of The Great Carrie Bradshaw, I added a new criterion to my dad's list: to find someone who loved the me that I loved.  Once I loved myself, love found me.

Mr. Lion consistently treats me like a princess, and as an intellectual equal.  But most of all, he loves me for me.  He loves every one of my stupid quirks, good and bad.  I think the same holds true for friendships, too.  I keep in touch with very few people from high school, but it's definitely quality over quantity.  Three of my best friends from high school are in our wedding party.  We've all grown so much over the years, but our friendships have evolved along with us.

Lion Gman Dan then and now...he's still much taller than I am.

Lioness Bmaid Laura then (in costume for a school wrestling match)

and now (in costume as Ariel & Supergirl)

Lioness Bmaid Sara all glammed up for Homecoming then,

and still fabulous now.

And to bring things full circle (and to make it up to Sister Lioness), here's a more recent Disney shot...with some improved head gear:

{all personal photos}

How have you changed since high school? How have your outlooks on love and friendship changed?

Part of Your World

When Mr. Lion and I first started dating, we were both in college.  I was at UF in Gainesville, and Mr. Lion was at UCF in Orlando.  We were only about 100 miles from each other, but a mini long distance relationship is a long distance relation nonetheless.  We saw each other once or twice a month...which I was incredibly grateful for.  I've had friends who had to go much longer than that, and I just don't know if I could stand it!  Whenever we left our two separate worlds to see each other, it was always magical.

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Every time we visited one another, it was 2-3 days of pure bliss.  We'd snuggle up in front of the TV, we'd cook dinner together, we'd go out on fun dates, and sometimes we'd just sit around and do nothing.  It was like a weekend getaway!

When we moved to Atlanta for grad school and law school, we went straight from long distance to living together under one roof.  I've had some friends who were in the same situation, and now I can say that I've met some Bees who experienced the same thing too!  I recently discussed the moving-in adjustment with some of these people.  I found it interesting that those of us who went from long distance to living together seemed to have easier adjustments than my friends who moved in with their local boyfriends.  I think that doing the long distance thing better prepared us for cohabitation because we were used to seeing each other for several days at a time.  We had to eat several meals together, clean together, and (gasp) even share a bathroom.  We got used to each others' habits, so I think that prevented too many surprises from popping up.

There were some adjustments, however.  As I mentioned, our weekends together were like little vacations.  When Mr. Lion and I first moved in together, it felt no different.  Well, it did initially.  Then we remembered this little thing called the real world.  We were in for a rude awakening when we realized how much studying sucked when all we wanted to do was be lazy together, but eventually we got used to it.

What do you mean I can't be lazy today?

And speaking of laziness, this brings me to our other big adjustment.  Our lovely lazy days that we once cherished became the norm.  It became really easy to say "let's just order in and watch some Netflix."  Don't get me wrong, that's wonderful sometimes...but this little Lioness needs some romance sometimes too!  Thus, we initiated date night.

This was kind of tricky with our horrible grad school budgets, but we found a way to make it work monthly.  One time each month, we got dressed up and went out on a nice date.  We made a conscious effort not to worry about how much we spent that night; we decided it was better to forget about money once a month, as opposed to having several stress-filled date nights every month.  Date night has definitely kept the spark alive, and now it's become a tradition that we'll carry on into our marriage.

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Have you recently moved in with your fiance?  How did you adjust to become part of your SO's world?

Secret Life of Bees: Lioness Edition

I've loved reading all of the quirky and embarrassing and fabulous stories that other Bees have shared throughout this series.  When I decided to jump on the bandwagon, I had trouble deciding what to write about, and not because I couldn't think of a quirk...I've just kinda been sharing them all along!  I've been totally honest about my Disney obsession, I haven't hidden my Gators or Red Sox fanaticisms, I've even talked about how I wear nothing but JCrew but listen to nothing but reggae!  So, instead of talking about my abnormalities, I thought I'd talk about my normal side.  Let's discuss something I rarely talk about on here: my job.

I'm very passionate about being a physical therapist.  During my final year of school, I had the incredible opportunity to take that passion abroad.  My program sent 10 of us (along with 3 instructors) to Las Obras Sociales del Hermano Pedro, a long-term acute care hospital in Antigua, Guatemala.  This hospital not only treats patients with acute illnesses and injuries, it serves as a home to many residents.  Many of these residents are children who have been abandoned or orphaned.

Guatemala has a very high incidence of cerebral palsy (and similar neurological conditions) due to poor prenatal and neonatal care.  We were able to bring down lots of donated equipment to give to this population.  We also worked with the local physical therapists to develop sustainable treatment programs.  For example, we taught the local PTs how to make hand splints to help open up clenched fists.

This hand used to be closed shut due to spasticity.

In addition to teaching, we also learned a lot working with this patient population.  And we had a lot of fun, too!

{photos cropped to protect patient privacy}

We were also fortunate enough to learn about the beautiful country of Guatemala.

We even had a little time to play tourist!

At a market with my PT School BFFs (who are now readers in our wedding ceremony), and...

...climbing an active volcano!

{all personal photos}

It was such an amazing trip.  It was so incredibly rewarding, and I learned things that I take to my practice every day.  If any of you have an interest in doing some kind of a service trip, whether abroad or in your own country, I strongly encourage you to go for it!  You'll end up with a life-changing experience.

DIY Yarn Wreath Tutorial

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it revolves around gluttony and football, but I've just always been a fan.  This year, Mr. Lion and I are hosting Thanksgiving for the very first time.  It's not that big of a gathering...just Papa Lioness, Sister Lioness, and Sister Lioness' boyfriend who plan to join us.  Nonetheless, I wanted a little something extra to add to our home decor to make it a little more festive.

I've noticed that yarn wreaths are all the rage right now on Etsy.  You know, like this one:

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And this one:

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I wanted to make a Thanksgiving version.  Okay, okay, maybe that's not wedding-related.  But with the modern rustic design, some brides might be into this kind of thing!  Just add a monogram and I'd say it's wedding-ready:

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So, here's how I made my Thanksgiving Yarn Wreath.  Feel free to do the same for the holidays, or for your wedding!

Materials:

• Glue gun
• Foam wreath
• Yarn (thicker is better; I like the kind that changes colors so you don't have to keep tying it off and starting a new wrap)
• Fabric for flowers (I used 1/8 yard in two colors)
• Beads for fabric flowers (optional)
• Decorative letters (optional)
• Other elements of decoration (i.e. buttons, sequins, etc.)

Wrap the yarn around the wreath.  This part takes forever, but once you get into a rhythm it's not so bad.  If you're using fall colors, hold it up to your fiance so it looks like a Lion's mane.

Not amused, apparently.

Secure the end of the yarn with your glue gun.

I decorated my wreath with two types of flowers.  For the first kind, cut strips about 1.5 inches thick.

This part's kind of hard to describe.  You want to bunch the fabric around in a zig zagged circle, gripping each fold between your thumb and index finger.

Once the full circle is formed, secure by sewing or with the glue gun.  I cannot sew, so I opted for the latter:

 

Add a bead to the center of the flower if you wish.

For the second kind of flowers, cut four 2-inch circles.

Wow, I am really bad at cutting circles!  Next, fold each circle into a semi-circle and overlap one on top of the other, like a pinwheel.

Pinch the middle of the four overlapping semi-circles and secure with the glue gun.

Attach your decorations to the yarn wreath and proudly display!

{all personal photos}

For this and other fabulous tutorials, visit Kelly Hicks Design!  What DIY projects have you been working on?