The Big D (And I Don't Mean Dallas)

Mr. Lion and I both come from divorced families.  And you know what?  I don't really think it's that big of a deal...but I've noticed that it can be in the wedding world.  (I'm not really the type of gal who gripes about how silly society can be, but here goes.)  I've run across this expectation that my parents and Mr. Lion's parents should join together as our two families unite.  Well, that a little tough to do if our individual families aren't even united.  Besides, what if that's not what we want?  Why is that the expectation?  I have friends who grew up behind a white picket fence in upper middle class suburbia.  I also have friends who grew up overseas in the middle of a civil war.  I have friends who grew up in households with traditional marriages, I have friends who have same-sex families, I even have a friend who has lived with her significant other for decades and (gasp) just doesn't want to get married.

The "weird" has become a heck of a lot more normal.  Maybe some of the psychology or sociology Bees out there can shed some light as to why, but all I know is that the "unusual" is actually pretty common.  In my opinion, the same holds true for the opposite.  When I think of a "normal" family with two heterosexual married parents, 2.5 kids, and a pet or two, the first image that comes to mind is far from normal:

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I don't mind that my parents are divorced.  In fact, I kinda like it better this way.  I still have a wonderful relationship with each of my parents...and they're happier separate than they were together.  What makes it awkward are random wedding traditions, such as the anniversary dance.

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Don't get me wrong, the anniversary dance can be so cute.  I can certainly see the appeal.  At our wedding, however, I think all it would do is make people feel uncomfortable.  This brings me to some excellent advice that I received from one of the Lioness Bmaids: You can celebrate your own love without reflecting on everyone else's.

Maybe I'm being selfish, but I want this wedding to be solely about our love.  Not just Mr. Lion's and my love for one another, but our love, friendship, and gratitude towards all of our guests.  Every single person we're inviting means so much to us...but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn about their relationships with one another.  Not on that day, at least.

Keeping with this "our love only" philosophy, we will not be merging families.  Unfortunately, this does make many wedding traditions difficult.  Here are a few examples of how we've chosen to go the less traditional route: 

Invitations - "Mr. and Mrs. Lioness proudly present their daughter as dowry to Mr. Lion, son of Mr. and Mrs. Lion" could not be further from us.  Even if my parents were still married, Mama Lioness freeks out at the thought of someone being called Mrs. HisFirst HisLast.  I thought about doing "Mr. Lioness and Ms. Lioness invite you to blah blah blah," but even that felt a little too...ummm...married.  I wanted my parents to be presented as separate individuals right from the start.  Then I had a thought: "Why should my parents get to do the inviting?  We're paying for most of the wedding ourselves!"  So, we took ownership or our invitations and came up with this little number:

We, Lioness and Lion, together with our parents, invite you to blah blah blah...

Programs - We definitely can't list "Parents of the Bride" and "Parents of the Groom" on our program.  Why not list "The Moms" and "The Dads?"  It's not as formal, but neither is our outdoor-daytime wedding!

Seating - Our reception seating chart will be my ultimate organizational masterpiece.  We're not there yet, but I plan to seat Mama Lioness with her side of the family and Papa Lioness with his.  The same goes for Mr. Lion's family.  As far as the ceremony goes, I didn't want to have a bride's side and a groom's side (again with the two families merging).  Instead, we're skipping the ushers and we plan to have a sign that says something along the lines of "Don't choose a side; choose a seat!  We're all about unity here."  I'm hoping that will help make things a little less divisive.

Do you have a less traditional family? Any other tips you'd like to share?