Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Love is Where We Are: The Ceremony


Mr. Lion is Catholic and I'm Jewish. Neither of us are traditionally religious, but we both wanted to incorporate some elements from each of our faiths into our ceremony. More importantly to us, though, we wanted our ceremony to really reflect who we are and what our relationship means to us. This meant choosing our words and music carefully, and involving as many people as possible. One of the most important people in our ceremony was my cousin Chris, who is an ordained minister. I think he was a little confused when we asked him to officiate, bue he's a charismatic guy and an excellent speaker, so we knew he'd do just fine. It was nice because we got to write our own ceremony and complete our own premarital counseling. Chris just had to show up and read a script! We had him begin with a little blurb (that he wrote? improvised?) greeting our guests, then he read an excerpt from "Love" by Roy Croft:

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.


I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimply seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.


I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.


I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.


Next, Chris asked us to face our guests, as they stood to acknowledge us.


He asked them if they would love us and support us, as individuals and as a family.




Our guests responded by saying "we do."


Next, we set the tone for our ceremony with a little musical selection: a mash-up of Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours." My cousin, Shannon (Chris' sister; they're my dad's brother's kids) arranged the music and played the ukulele. Sister Lioness and my cousin, Michelle (who was just starting to have a little baby bump!), sang along with her.



This was Favorite Wedding Memory #2! For a non-religious ceremony, this moment was very spiritual for me. Three cousins were standing next to me singing, one cousin was standing behind me and my almost-husband, and one cousin was sitting out in the audience. For some reason, there was a gentle breeze throughout this part of the ceremony. The rest of the ceremony was still. Later, I saw this photo, where Sister Lioness, Michelle, and I are all looking up towards another cousin:


It was so beautiful. Next, Mr. Lion's step-sister, Heather, read Romans 12:9-18.

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.


Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.


Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.




Next, my cousin Jen (Michelle's sister; they're my dad's sister's kids) read an excerpt from "Union" by Robert Fulghum.

You have known each other from the first glace of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks - all those sentences that began with "When we're married" and continued with "I will and you will and we will" - those late night talks that included "someday" and "somehow" and "maybe" - and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, "You know all those things we've promised and hoped and dreamed - well, I meant it all, every word." Look at one another and remember this moment in time. 




Before this moment you have been many things to one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this- is mmy husband, this- is my wife.




Of course, this made for an excellent segway into our vows. Well, it would have been at least. Unfortunately, our officiant made some mean comment about Florida Gators basketball.


Guess that's what I get for inviting family to be involved in the ceremony! They know me too well. Now that Chris got that out of his system, we proceeded to the important stuff. First, Chris asked us if we agreed to proceed and enter into marriage. We responded with "we do."


We then said our vows.




Then, we exchanged rings.



As our last reading, my BFFs from PT school read the Seven Blessings from Hebrew Scripture.

Blessed are you, our God, Creator of the fruit of the vine,
Who has created everything for your glory.

Blessed are you, our God, Creator of Human Beings,
Who has fashioned human beings in your image.


Bring intense joy and exultation through the ingathering of Your children,
Gladden the beloved companions as you gladdened Your creatures in the garden of Eden.


Blessed are you, our God, Who created joy and gladness, loving couples, glad song, pleasure, delight, love, loving communities, peace, and companionship. Let there soon be heard the sound of joy and the sound of gladness, the voice of the loving couple, the sound of their jubilance from the canopies and of the youths from their song-filled feasts. Blessed are You who causes the couple to rejoice, one with the other.




We were pronounced husband and wife, and, of course, Mr. Lion kissed his bride.



Then, our lovely officiant pointed out that we were officially married, but it wasn't official until we put it on Facebook.


What elements are you including in your ceremony to help make it personal?

Catch up on the Lioness Recaps here!

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