Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Love is Where We Are: Cheers

As a blogger, words are very important to me. I love a captivating speaker, getting lost in a good book is one of my favorite things, and I'm easily moved by beautiful song lyrics. Needless to say, I was really looking forward to the toasts at our wedding reception. Listening to my dad's toast at our rehearsal dinner was such a wonderful moment; I just couldn't wait to see what some of our favorite people had in store for our wedding!

My dad was up first.


Several of you have told me today what a great job I have done with our daughters.  Let me dispel this notion: the heavy lifting for both Julia and David, the nurturing, the loving attention, the teaching, the instilling of values, was done by their mothers.  I cannot speak for David’s upbringing; I can say that in our case, Paula did all the work; I was simply the playmate.  I believe the credit goes to them.  So, first of all, let’s take a moment to honor the mothers. 
On the last page of The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald imagined what it must have been like for this band of Dutch sailors, as they gazed upon this new continent.  He wrote that, for the last time, man came face to face with something commensurate to his capacity for wonder (paraphrase: stretched for the last time man’s capacity for wonder).  Such a pessimistic assertion from such a romantic man.  
While this is a beautifully-written statement, I must take issue with it.  After all, Fitzgerald was a parent.  As such, he would have marveled, as I did, at how a child develops.  How that first real smile emerges that we’re certain is not a gas pain.  I treasured the expression on Julia’s face when I saw her, waking, in her crib in the morning.  Those first steps, the formation of words, the countless kisses, whether butterfly or bubble or normal, the playtime, how that little brain began to function as we watched the beginnings of reason.  There is no feeling that compares to that of seeing the joy in your child’s face when they make some new discovery of what they can do.  I remember seeing that often, and being amazed every single time I did so. 
Before we knew it, they were off to school.  From that point on, life became all about the choices that they make: the friends they chose, the activities they enjoyed, the subjects they loved.  It got tougher in middle school.  By the time these two were in high school, they weren’t listening to their parents much anymore.  I remember hoping that when they had to get into a car driven by someone their own age, they would make the right choices.  That they are here today means they did so. 
Off to college, more choices: career paths, activities, interests.  I look at the people they have chosen to stand beside them today.  Some have been friends for over 15 years; others of more recent vintage.  Yet, each of them is gifted, ambitious, kind and generous of spirit, like their friends sitting here.  I am so impressed with each and every one of you.  How proud all of your parents must be as well. 
Julia, I have often told you that I have always been proud of you, and never disappointed.  You have made so many amazing choices in your life, and, today, the greatest one of all.  I am in awe of both of you; you have taken your education and chosen professions in which you actually make people’s lives better.  I am honored to be a part of your family.  Thank you for continuing to stretch my capacity for wonder.        

Next, Sister Lioness read her MOH speech.

 My first word was my sister's name. Well, j's are tricky, so it was more like "Doo-wa." But the point is that my big sister has always been the most important person in my life. I'm sure I drove you crazy - always wanting to dress like you and do whatever you did, always hanging around you. Whether we were singing in the backseat of our mom's minivan on the way to Boston, or playing with our American Girl dolls for hours, we were pretty much inseparable. And as we grew older, that didn't change. You got me out of school early to go to the cool, far away mall. You took me to my first Gator football game. You gave me a place to call home when I felt like I didn't have one. You are everything a big sister should be. You are my best friend.
Julia, I know I've always been your biggest fan, but I've also been your harshest critic. I met Dave at Disney World - of course - and I remember Julia telling me how nervous he was to meet our Dad. Julz kept telling him, "it's not my dad you should be worried about." Dave, I tried so hard to hate you, really I did. But within a few hours, I turned to Dave and said, "I like you." Just like that, you charmed your way into my good graces, and I am so glad you did. I've always wanted a big brother, and I found that in you. You are so much more to me than that Yankees fan that dates my sister. You are one of the most genuinely good guys I've ever known, and I'm so proud to call you my brother.
There's something awesome about the way you two balance each other out. You bring this wonderful youth and humor to everything you do - you make each other more vibrant, but more importantly, you make each other whole. When Julia gets stressed, Dave is cool, calm and collected. When Dave gets pessimistic, Julia brings her Disney optimism. I love each of you individually, but I really love you two together. I love what you make each other strive to be. I know you will continue that throughout your marriage.
When Julia and I were kids, we used to play Disney Princess all the time. She was older, so she always got to be the princess, and I got stuck playing every other role. I am overjoyed to hand the role of Prince Charming over to Dave permanently. I couldn't be happier for you. Congratulations. I love you both. 

And last but not least, Chris, Mr. Lion's Best Man, led a toast.


Before I begin, I first want to congratulate the bride and groom for putting together such a beautiful event...and for finding a suit rental that matched a men's size for me with a boy's size for Dave.

Dave and I met through mutual friend Dan back in college, where we discovered a mutual love for video games, Yankees baseball, being neurotically neat, and sharing a brinksmanship of cut downs that goes on proudly to this day.

I met Julia through Dave after he rescued her from some swamp in North Florida and brought her back to civilization in Orlando. She was very down to Earth, knew how to get off a wisecrack but what never mean. So, in other words, she was a lot like Dave...but so much easier on the eyes. I never saw them disagree about anything except sports, in which case Julia's position was usually wrong.

Dave, if the only measure of a fried was the number of times he agreed to go to Taco Bell after being woken from a nap, well then I don't think I could find one better. And while to outsiders you may seem slightly loafish, let me clarify for those who don't really know him...here is a man who will sacrifice his body and challenge his mind to achieve anything he truly desires, be it a touchdown in a flag football game or graduating with a law degree. Dave only knows how to play to win.

Julia, I think you have the capacity for a creative output equal to half a dozen people. My personal experience plus your choice of profession tells me that your desire to give of yourself to care for others is probably limitless.

I don't believe I've seen a couple so at ease with each other, so in tune with one another. So I'm not going to toast by wishing you happiness for the rest of your lives together, because I already know you'll have that. I am going to toast to the great inspiration you both provide us, to find and treasure what you two have found in each other. So here's to you both: health, wealth, and love! Saluté!


Listening to these toasts was one of my favorite moments of the whole weekend. It made us feel so loved, and we felt so grateful to be surrounded by such wonderful and caring people.

Who is giving a speech at your reception?

Catch up on the Lioness recaps here!

*All photos by H. Photography unless otherwise noted.

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