Reconsidering Recycling

Before Mr. Lion and I were even close to engaged, I asked Mama Lioness if I could try on her wedding dress...just for fun.  It had been sitting in her closet since 1982.  It had not been properly preserved, so it had an slightly yellow tint to it, but that just made the lace look all the more antique.  The long sleeves and scalloped neckline could have created a stunning vintage look on a more daring bride, but I decided it wasn't my style.  Plus, I couldn't even zip into it!  I'm a big 4 or a small 6...apparently my mom was even smaller!

Mama Lioness wasn't offended.  She had just saved it as an option.  No pressure, no worries.  She offered it to Sister Lioness, who declined as well.  Mama Lioness promptly took it to her nearest thrift store, and we haven't heard from her dress since.

It was back then that I decided against saving my wedding dress.

It seemed like an awful lot of work to preserve my wedding dress and to have it take up space in my closet, only to have it rejected decades later by my future daughter.  What if she wants to wear a sundress?  What if she doesn't want to get married?  What if I have boys?!  I had made up my mind; I would sell my wedding dress immediately after the wedding.  That money could go towards a house, and therefore go towards starting our lives together.  It was the logical, practical, thing to do.  I felt no remorse.

After our wedding, I posted my dress all over the internet with a reasonable asking price.  I was ecstatic when I received an offer for over half of what I had paid.  It seemed like a great deal for a used gown, and this bride sounded lovely.  I was happy to know that my dress was going to a good home, and happy that I was one step closer to buying my first home.

Then, something strange happened.  When I reached into my closet to inspect the dress before shipping it out, I felt a little lump in my throat.  As I lifted each layer of soft ivory lace to make sure they were without rips or tears, I grew nostalgic.

{Weddings by Evan Hampton}

It was so unlike me to have this much attachment to a material thing.  My wedding dress wasn't even my favorite part of the wedding!  If I had to pick a favorite wedding thing, it probably would have been that window...and it blew over and shattered immediately after the ceremony!  I didn't really experience post-wedding blues (I was just too relieved it was over!)...perhaps this was how it was manifesting?  Maybe I was bummed because it really was over?

It was too late for debate, however, as I had already accepted payment from this other bride.  I had made this decision years ago, and now was the time to remember the reasons why I had made that decision.  I had to stick with my choice.  I had Mr. Lion come with me to the UPS Store to ship the dress, and I had tears in my eyes the whole way there.

Once I had dropped it off, I quit wallowing.  I felt like my dress was being reincarnated, and I rejoiced in the fact that it would fulfill its destiny with another bride.  It probably made her as happy as it had made me.  After all, just because you feel like throwing something away, that doesn't mean it's not exactly what someone else is looking for.

{by Disney/Pixar / via owall.net}

What about you?  Do you plan to sell/donate your dress or preserve it?  If you did sell or donate it, were you surprised at the level of emotion you felt towards it?

Rawr: An Update

I recently had my first wedding dress fitting...with a seamstress who was just not my favorite person I've encountered along this wedding journey.  Y'all left me lots of comments (Yay!  I love comments) suggesting what I should do from there, explaining where the seamstress was coming from, but most of all, empathizing with me and telling me it would be okay (seriously Hive, be more awesome).  I left with a tinge of anxiety, worried that the top of the dress would still not fit me adequately.  I scheduled my next fitting six weeks later, which was also six weeks before the wedding.  I figured this would give me ample time to go elsewhere if the neckline was still gaping.

Hang on, gotta interrupt this story for a minute.

Now then, where were me?  Oh, yes.  I have since gone to said fitting.  I was a little nervous going in.  I left work a little early to get to the other side of Atlanta in time for my appointment, but I was lucky enough to run into two accidents.  I'm sure any of you Atlanta Bees can relate; driving across town from 4:00-5:30 on a Friday is not the brightest idea.  I called to say that I may be a little late, only to hear this response, "If you're not here at exactly 5:30, you need to reschedule."  Um, really?  This didn't help with the butterflies in my stomach.  Fortunately, I drive more like my Bostonian side than my Southern side, and I made it in time.  I met up with Lioness Bmaid Emily, who gave me a very supportive pep talk as we went in to face certain doom.

Source

Sorry, Lioness Bmaid Emily!  If Ariel had some hot friends, I'd use that screencap.  But in order to illustrate this point, you've gotta be Sebastian.  Love you!

I slipped on the dress, zipped it up, and stared at the mirror in disbelief.  It was perfect.  Absolutely no gaping, even while jumping up and down.  I know, because I checked.  It wasn't really loose anywhere, but it wasn't uncomfortably tight either.  And the bustle, oh the bustle.  So much love.  We were so excited that we didn't really take pictures (Bad blogger!), but Lioness Bmaid Emily did manage to capture this shot of the bustle with her iPhone:

So, all was well in the end.  What wedding drama magically resolved for you?

Rawr

Maybe I've just been lucky so far.  I'm 17 months into wedding planning and it's been nothing but smooth sailing with my vendors.  I've LOVED everyone I've worked with, and I've certainly never had a problem with any of them.  Well, never say never.

I went for my first dress fitting the other day, and I was really REALLY not happy with my seamstress.  I went to the boutique where I bought my dress and used their alterations department.  The sales ladies had been nothing but fabulous, so I expected the same from their seamstress.  That was probably a little naive.

The waist of my dress fit fine, so she didn't need to take it in.

The length was pretty good, so she didn't need to shorten it.

I was even pretty psyched about the bustle that she came up with.

The problem was the top of my dress.  I've lost a tiny bit of weight since I ordered the dress.  Not much; I've mostly just toned up a little.  I went from sitting around studying physical therapy to actually practicing physical therapy, which is a pretty physically demanding job!  Naturally, the first place we ladies tend to lose weight is in the bust area...which is so not fair.  I had a little bit of extra room, so I asked the seamstress to take the straps up a little...

...but as you can see, she had already whipped out her date book to schedule me for my next fitting.  No wait, seamstress lady!  I'm not done yet!  Look how big my dress is up top!  Don't you think I need a little more support...you know, up there?

Her response?  "Well, it's not like you'll be moving around much anyway."

Clearly she'd never been to one of MY weddings!  I'm a dancer and I plan to do just that during our four-hour reception!  The girls needed enough lift to handle that.  So, I begged her to take a look.

She took it up about one-fourth of an inch, but then insisted that any more would be too tight, and uncomfortable.  I explained (again) that I'd prefer that the top of the dress be too tight rather than the opposite extreme.  Her response?  "Well, do you plan to lose a lot of weight?  Because otherwise I don't think you need it any smaller."

Maybe she assumed I'd lose more weight since most brides do so right before their wedding.  Not this bride!  Remember the whole physically demanding job thing?  Baby needs her protein!  I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt with this one.

We bickered back and forth about this for several minutes, and I could tell that I was really starting to get on her nerves.  I understand that she was frustrated with me, given my stubbornness.  Sorry, but I'm not sorry.  I paid good money for this dress, I'm paying her good money for alterations, and I want it my way.  I had three bridesmaids with me, one who lives in Atlanta and two who were in town for the weekend, as my shower was later that day.  The girls had my back, but I was definitely the one instigating.  I really don't think we were out of line at any point.  I was polite, just persistent.

We finally compromised and she agreed to take up another one-fourth inch, but no more.  She said she'd have it ready in two weeks.  "Good," I thought to myself.  "Then that will give me enough time to take it elsewhere if it needs to be taken up any further!"  I thanked her for her time, and for her patience.

Her response?  "Next time, this will take five minutes okay?  Try it on, I pin a little, then that's it.  No discussion.  Also, only bring ONE bridesmaid."

I honestly didn't know what to say.  I just thanked her for her time (again) and left, happy to have been the bigger person.  This picture basically summed up the whole experience:

Me: still fiddling with my top.  Lioness Bmaid Jessica: rolling her eyes.  It's amazing how revealing candid photos can be!

Have any of you butted heads with a vendor?  How did you settle your differences?

Leaving Room for Flexibility

A few months ago, I got a phone call from one of my bridesmaids.  It went a little something like this:

Bmaid: Heyyy
Lioness: Hi!  What's up?
Bmaid: Ummm...
Lioness: (awkward pause)
Bmaid: siiiigh...
Lioness: Dude, is everything okay?
Bmaid: Welllll...
Lioness: WHAT'S WRONG? (at this point, I'm thinking that she's about to tell me she can't be in the wedding, she doesn't want to be in the wedding for whatever reason, or something horrible happened)
Bmaid: (giggles) Are you sitting down?
Lioness: (feeling relieved and instantly knowing what's coming next) Yes?

Bmaid:......I'm PREGNANT!

{lots and lots of squealing}

Lioness: Congratulations!  Ohhhh I'm SO happy for you guys!
Bmaid: Oh good!  You're not mad.  I'm really worried about my dress, and I was worried that you would be worried, too!  I mean, I still plan to be there and everything, but what are we going to do about my dress?

Obviously, her dress was the last thing on my mind at that moment!  But she did bring up an excellent point: what's a bridesmaid to do?  This particular bridesmaid had not yet ordered one of the dresses that we had decided on months before she learned this news.  Allow me to remind you what those dresses looked like.

Oh, Sister Lioness.  Never a dull moment.

Empire waist? Some forgiveness around the hips?  Our first thought was that this dress would work with a baby bump...but then we did the math and figured out that my bmaid would be 8 months pregnant on our wedding day.  Again, I asked her if she was sure she wanted to commit to standing up there next to me.  She responded with things like "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" and "I'm just going to make him drive the whole way to Atlanta anyway."

I started to look at maternity bridesmaid dresses.  My first stop was Alfred Angelo; they make the dress that we had initially chosen, and I hoped I could find something in the same color.  Lo and behold, I found this:

Source

Is that similar or what?  I was so glad this bridesmaid of mine decided to put off ordering her dress!  She must have had a feeling.  I called the store where we had ordered the other bridesmaid dresses from.  I told them that one of my bridesmaids was pregnant, and they said, "Oh, so would you like to change her order to the 7002MA?"  I was a bit surprised that they knew which exact style I had chosen, but she simply replied, "Well, it looks the most like the one you had initially chosen."  It's always nice to have a salesgirl who knows her inventory!

I walked away from bridesmaid dress shopping having learned an important lesson: sometimes, it's best to go with the larger, more popular designers.  They're large and popular for many reasons, and one of the main reasons is their variety.  Granted, if I had chosen bridesmaid dresses from a small boutique, we would have been able to figure something out.  But this switch was very easy and very inexpensive, and for that I was grateful.  It's definitely important to leave room for flexibility...especially if you have a bridesmaid who you know will make a wonderful mother some day!

What kinds of changes have you had to accommodate for during your wedding planning?  Any major curve balls?

Any Atlanta Brides Looking for a Cause?

One of the latest (and in my opinion, greatest) trends right now in the wedding world is the idea of giving back.  "Green" weddings, charity donation favors, and now, bridal sales for a cause.  Next weekend in Atlanta, Susan G. Komen is putting on a bridal gown sale to benefit breast cancer, a cause that just happens to be very near and dear to me.

Source

Bridal designers have donated gowns specifically for this sale, and 100% of the proceeds will go to Susan G. Komen.  Additionally, you can get a pretty hefty discount on said gowns!  Most dresses go for $99-$799, which is definitely cheaper than the average bear!  Tickets are $5 in advance and $10 at the door.  I, unfortunately, will not be able to attend because I have a wedding to go to that day, but I would have loved to check it out even though I already have my dress!  Here's the info in case any of y'all are interested in going so I can live vicariously through you:

Sunday, October 3, 2010 from 12pm-6pm at the

Holiday Inn Atlanta/Roswell

909 Holcomb Bridge Road, Roswell, GA 30076

Preregister at http://www.pinkpassionforbridalfashion.com/Preregister.html by October 1st.

What's that?  You don't live in Atlanta but you'd love to help out?  Check out http://www.bridesagainstbreastcancer.org/ to find similar upcoming events near you.

Bridal Style vs. Daily Style

So now that you've seen my dress and my headpiece, I'll bet you think you have a pretty good sense of my personal style.  Frilly, romantic, girly...were you thinking of something like this?

Sources: ModCloth

Actually, the style represented in these items is pretty far from my personal style.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE this look, but I just don't feel like I can pull it off on a daily basis.  If I had to describe my personal style (a la Tyra), I would have to say it varies between preppy and mod.

Preppy, by Vineyard Vines

Mod, by Anthropologie

Basically, this chick right here is my fashion icon:

Source

Emma Pillsbury's closet can do no wrong.  I mean, she's a redhead and she can pull off yellow!  Not sure how that's possible, but I'm sure as anything not gonna fight it!  I love everything this girl wears, so you'd think her wedding dress would perfectly suit my style.

Source

Dress by JCrew

I was certain that I would have similar taste in a wedding dress, but this style just wasn't me.  Perhaps I have an alter-ego side of me that's just dying to try something new!  How about you?  Is your bridal style similar to or different from your daily style?

Girls in Green Dresses

When I went shopping for my dress, I was accompanied by four of my six bridesmaids.  Bmaid Jackie is my FSIL, and she was unable to drive all the way up from South Florida.  Bmaid Jessica is a second year med student in Tampa, so she was super busy.  She was also heartbroken that she was unable to be there.  To make it up to her, I told her she could pick out her dress.

I told my bridesmaids that I wanted them to match and I wanted them to wear a bright green.  Bmaid Sara also added the stipulation that the dresses be cocktail length (she's shorter and didn't think she could pull off tea length...I appreciated her honesty).  Bmaid Jessica couldn't make it to Atlanta to shop together until June, so Bmaid Emily, Sister Lioness, and I did some preliminary research.

The one on the right came in a beautiful green...

...but the one on the left was the favorite!

Bmaid Emily also loved it!

AND it looked cute with my mom's dress!

I was glad that we had a strong candidate for the position of bridesmaid dress, but I would not allow anything to become a final decision until Bmaid Jessica had the opportunity to try on dresses.  I'm a woman of my word, after all.  Bmaid Jessica came into town and decided to try on the leading dress.

The whole package: with a hair flower fascinator (more on that later) and the shoes


{all personal photos}

Her words? "Umm, if it's okay with you, I don't really want to look at any other dresses.  This one is perfect."

How did you choose your bridesmaids' dresses?

Mamasita of the Bride

I've mentioned before that my mom is not your typical Mother of the Bride.  After surviving breast cancer and a divorce, it's safe to say that she has a fresh new outlook on life.  Add that to her Latina background, along with living in one of the most dynamic areas in the nation...let's just say she wasn't planning on wearing this to our wedding:

Source: The Bride's Heart

We chatted about it and decided on a few things before she started shopping.  I wanted her dress to be pool blue.  My bridesmaids would be wearing green, so I wanted my mom to be in our other wedding color.  She said she didn't want to look "old."  I said I didn't want her to look too conservative, but I didn't want her to dress too young.  She said she wanted something that would "twirl well while dancing."

Armed with a fair set of rules, we took a little trip to Formally Yours, the salon where I found my wedding dress.  At the sight of dark, dreary colors and oversized boleros, she immediately vetoed the entire Mother of the Bride section.  We decided to take a little detour and check out the bridesmaids' section instead.  Lo and behold, we found a pool blue chiffon dress that was absolutely stunning:

Personal photo: looking age appropriate but sassy...Stacy and Clinton would be proud!

How perfect is that?!  She loved it.  I loved it.  We had a winner.

How did your mom find her dress?  Is anyone else using a bridesmaid dress instead of a Mother of the Bride dress?

Saying Yes to the Dress

I wanted to get dress shopping done early because I felt that the dress would set the tone and the theme for the entire event.  I began my dress shopping adventure by browsing through bridal magazines in an effort to research designers and to get an idea of what I wanted.  This did not help me at all.  I had a very clear idea of what I wanted, but I wasn't sure how it would look on me.  I went to David's Bridal with a friend who is also wedding planning, and we tried on several very different gowns to narrow down our search.  I found shopping, with no intent to buy, incredibly helpful and I highly recommend it when it comes to wedding dresses.  I came to David's Bridal with A, B, and C in mind; I left thinking of X, Y, and Z.

Attached to the idea of a dress with X, Y, and Z, I began to research bridal boutiques.  I googled, asked around, and narrowed it down to 7 stores.  I then looked at each store's website and viewed their selection.  Some carried more designers than others, and some had more affordable designers.  I narrowed it down again to 3 final stores and made appointments.  All of this involved lots of color coded spreadsheeting, of course!

Mr. Lion, do NOT read any further! 

I went to my appointments with some of my bridesmaids, and found my dress at the first one.  I knew it was the one.  I didn't cry or scream or anything like that, but I kept it on for about 45 minutes and just didn't want to take it off!  I wanted to be sure, so I went to my next appointment.  I found another one that I liked a lot and immediately stressed out.  The other salon had told me that I would get a discount if I ordered it today, so I wanted to make a decision.  I called Mama Lioness on the verge of tears and asked her what to do.  She gave me some of the best advice I've had so far with wedding planning: "If you like both of them, then you need to think about which one HE would like more."  I pictured myself walking down the aisle in the dress I was wearing, and I smiled.  I pictured myself walking down the aisle in the dress I had worn earlier that day, and I smiled wider and burst into tears.  There was the Lifetime movie moment I had been looking for!  We left the salon and called the other store to make our purchase, the Zora by WToo:

Personal photo: Looking pretty psyched.

How did your research and advice affect your dress shopping?  Did it help you narrow it down or did you go a different route?